Best Announcing Ever

Of course you've seen this Ronaldinho goal already, but you haven't had the true experience until you've heard it announced in Arabic...

Why wasn't I told of this before?

Weird Al has a song called "Canadian Idiot" and there's a huge crop of user-videos on youtube and nobody told me.

I need some friends.

It's field trip time again!!!

Hoorah. Field trips are always a good chance to take a few stupid pictures of myself. This month, we were at some sort of Korean history museum.


Too bad I can't tell you much about these buildings or what was in the museum. I spent most of the trip telling the kids to stay in their damn line.

I do know that the museum is centred around the palaces of the Joseon Dynasty, which ruled Korea for quite a few years until the Japanese Dynasty (1905?), followed of course by the current Soviet and American dynasties that split up the peninsula (1945).

Hoorah, history!


Pony tails and long hair and mullets are a part of Korean history! Wow, my country has those, too.

My favourite part of any history museum is the small scale sendups of past houses, cities, now-highly-illegal fishing vessels, etc.

And of course, the mannequins in traditional dress who are only four feet tall.


The best part is that the mannequins are realistic. I'm willing to bet that a five foot tall Korean was a giant up until a hundred years ago.

And I truly hope humans are still getting bigger. I want Shaquille O'Neals and
Andre the Giants to be more common, and if genetic engineering and eugenics are necessary, then so be it.

Reason for optimism?

Only five weeks until Christmas, and then six more months until I go home!

Oh, man.

You know what they say about the pessimist, right? He sees the glass half-empty, AND, he's pretty sure that he's got prostate cancer.

Nope. That's not me. Only five weeks until Christmas.

But what do I do after I get home?

Wait. Is it fine to be getting up five times a night to go pee?

The wonders of Youtube

A 1983 debate on the CBC about whether or not Gretzky is worth a $20 million contract.

What I learned this week

1) Children throwing up in class is worse than children peeing or taking a dump. (Especially when it smells like seaweed soup. Thanks, Korean cuisine!!!)

I've made a strong comeback since Gord and I began our pee/puke/poop-in-class tally.

Here's the updated score:

Gord: 1
Tim: 2

2) Laptop keyboards don't like it when you spill pepsi on them.

3) I'm "90% fun and 10% boo," according to at least one eight-year-old.

4) I really didn't learn very much this week.

Psychology amateurs, please weigh in

I'm 24-years-old and I still enjoy taking pictures of myself like this one.

Is this problem going to get better or worse?

I guess the heated floors are good for something

Retirement shopping

Speaking with my parents recently, it was hard not to notice how close to retirement-home age they're getting.

Proof: My mother is older than three of the four Golden Girls.

In that spirit, I've decided to do some pre-emptive online shopping for my return to Canada when I'll sign my parents over to the nursing home and begin re-decorating their house.

For starters, I've never really liked having a pool in the backyard. The bother of cleaning it has always out-weighed the joy of swimming in it, so consider it filled in.

Instead, I've decided to purchase a 10-person hot tub like this one.


Bottles (of Labatt Blue) up!

Next, I'll be (finally) finishing the basement with the proceeds from selling my mom's world class quilts, and voila, I'll have enough room and money left over to buy the plasma screen TV I've always wanted.

I think this one looks jusssssssst fine.


Consider yourself invited to watch the next NBA Finals, everyone. Except you, Mom and Dad.

Oh, and when you arrive, you'll probably see the following piece of driving heaven out front.


That's right! A 1998 Pontiac Sunfire convertible. The dream car of every slacker across Canada and the U.S. of A, and Korea.

The floors heat up!

It's cold tonight, so I've turned on my floor-heating thing for the first time.

Initial reactions:

1) It's funny. The floors heat up.

2) They don't seem to be heating up very much. I think I have it set to 70 degrees fahrenheit and it isn't very warm more than a few inches off the floor, which is where I'm typing this from. (If I'm paying through the ass for electric heating, I'm sleeping in the floor for the winter... Pictures to follow.)

3) This says a lot about Koreans. How short do you have to be to think that a heating system that gets progressively cooler above the ankles is a good idea.

4) This is an extemely lame topic to write about. I'm really stretching the imagination to avoid finishing my teacher's college applications.

5) If you're still reading. Get a life.

6) 'Lost' is as addictive as anything I've ever seen, although I should apologize to meth enthusists. I've heard good things about meth. Very addictive, they say.

7) GET FREE STREAMING EPISODES OF 'LOST' AND MANY OTHER SHOWS HERE... Honestly. This is the future of the internet, and it's better than global warming.

This week in Pictures

Wow, did you know that trees in Korea can change colour, too? I wasn't aware until today because, uhh, I never see any trees.


As you can see from the next two photos, some people enjoy Halloween more than others:


FYI: When visiting Korea, be aware that a double barber-pole means massage parlor.


FYI2: Massage parlor means prostitutes.

FYI3: Prostitution means "woman (or men) who will have sex with you for money."

FYI4: I only know this because somebody else told me.

And now it's time for...


WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK:


1. I'm awesome

Earlier today, I found a local branch of Federal Express using only this crappy map:


2. China is awesome

Delegations from 48 African countries are in China this week to talk about how they can work together as business partners.

There are only 53 African countries to begin with, so yeah, this is the coolest conference of non-white nations since the 1955 Bandung Conference -- the topic of an essay I wrote about in college that was actually semi-interesting, so I guess I have a thing for these non-white conferences.

3. Robocop 1 and 2 are awesome

I download so many movies and TV shows, I've finally made my way to Robocop. The first movie is one of the most violent films I've ever seen, so I must have had an uncut version.

Robocop 2 is decent, too.

Robocop 3 is pinko garbage.

4. Co-worker Gord is one of those Halloween jerks, just like my brother

On Halloween, we both collected a massive amount of candy. However, like my little brother, he proceeded to eat it slowly while I ate and ate and ate, obviously resulting in him having a much better collection of candy over the next few days. And of course, he rubbed it in my face.

Him and my brother should start a club. The stupid Halloween jerks club.