You learn something new (and useless) every day
"No, you don't know anyone who has tipped me. You're a liar."
I just found the best wikipedia entry of all-time about cow-tipping, of all things.
You probably have numerous friends who "know someone who has tipped cows." Well, too bad, but apparently they're liars. According to wikipedia, there is no actual evidence that any cow has been tipped in the recorded history of man.
It turns out that cows don't sleep standing up, nor do they lock their legs while sleeping. They also don't tilt with the wind while doing this standing-up--while-sleeping thing, as many would have you believe. They also have intense senses of hearing and wide-array-vision that allows them to see frat boys coming toward them with giddy drunken smiles on their faces... They sleep lying down in short intervals throughout the day.
No comment on wikipedia about whether cows die or break ribs when you tip them over... I guess those two rumours were also wrong, although I'm sure it isn't comfortable to be tipped, if in fact it has ever actually happened.
Also, it turns out that raising small breed cows in your backyard is now a trend, as officially declared by a news source I've never heard of. The article says that families with large backyards are raising the cows as pets and selling them off when they grow big enough.
(P.S. I hope my Mom asks her farming friends about this so that she can give me more juicy gossip about cow-tipping. What a great topic.)
posted by Timothy Holden at
10:05 PM
5 Comments:
You should ask Jenn Gurbin. Rumour has it she was tipped in her youth.
By
Anonymous, at 9:03 AM
Jenn was a cow?
When did they start letting cows be Dons at U of T?
How's that for progress.
By
Timothy Holden, at 6:31 PM
Popular conversation topic in my hometown too.
Maybe they don't tilt in the wind because cows prefer to keep their butts toward the wind. I used to take flying lessons and this was one thing they taught us, as a way to figure out surface wind direction when you're nowhere near a windsock. :)
By
Ian, at 11:07 PM
Hahaa, that's the awesomest piece of useless information I've ever heard.
Reading about cows the other day, it was sad to hear that they have such keen sense - obviously dulled by thousands of years of fierce domestication.
Does anyone have a clue what a wild cow looks or acts like? We know about buffalo in the wild west, but seriously.... We need to see a Pixar movie about Cows.
If I had the proper phone numbers, I could have just made myself tens of millions of dollars with that last paragraph.
By
Timothy Holden, at 8:28 AM
Tim,
I have a friend who has video evidence of him tipping a cow! You sir are a liar. That just goes to show you that wikipedia doesnt know everything.
By
Anonymous, at 5:06 PM
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