Judge Holden Was Here

Thursday, October 19, 2006

So you're 24? ---- A TIMELINE

1982 -- Born.
1987 -- Pooped pants in Kindergarten class during reading time.
1992 -- 7th Bowmanville Cub Scouts "Cub of the Year."
1994 -- Went to Disney World.
2001 -- Watched "Office Space" every day for two consecutive weeks.
2003 -- Watched Roger Ebert go from a Taxi into the Four Seasons Hotel in Toronto.
2006 -- Turned 24 on the same day a Kindergartener pooped her pants in my class, thus completing the circle of, you know, life or something.

Net Worth @ 24: Approximately that of one unopened Plasma Screen TV.

posted by Timothy Holden at 4:36 AM

13 Comments:

  • One Unopened Plasma Screen?

    Dizamn you riddin dirrrrrttty

    Of course, in Korea those things are, what, 30 bucks Canadian?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:08 AM  

  • Happy Birthday Tim!!

    Here's hoping the ones that follow are just as eventful (uh, or more) as the ones that have past :)

    By Blogger Grace, at 9:40 AM  

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

    BUT SHOULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN A "TIM-E-LINE"? HAR HAR HAR!

    By Blogger DH, at 10:02 AM  

  • Also (while ignoring wishing you a happy birthday)

    How the hell could you watch the movie "Office Space" every day for two weeks straight?

    I cant' even watch it ONCE*


    * This is because both "Office Space" and Mike Judge are criminally unfunny.

    Office Space: "Hey, wasnt Dilbert a great cartoon? Well, now its a movie that just about as funny as it! HAHAHA MEMOS. HAHAHA "COW-"WORKERS EATING AT TGIFRIDAYS."

    "King of the Hill" is just as bad. To wit:

    " Hi Peggy, I'm Hank Hill, the most boring blue collar everyman in television history. I just had to come out and tell you, because i dont think that the JOKE HAS BEEN MADE ABUNDANTLY CLEAR.

    I also think that Bobby's Gay"

    LATHER RINSE REPEAT FOR 200 EPISODES.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:25 AM  

  • Awww, poor Tim. You mean you went to school for 20 of your 24 years, and after graduating almost 6 months ago you still haven't made your fortune? Boo-hoo. You're the only person I know who has these mid-life crisis, 'what have done with my life?' moments at 24.

    Anonymous, I think for Tim, it's probably more appropriate to reference Weird Al's spoof than Chamillionaire's original; Tim is whiter than sour cream. And I have to agree, King of the Hill is the least funny cartoon I've ever seen.

    By Blogger D-String, at 12:57 PM  

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TIM
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

    Your cuz. You guess which one.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:00 PM  

  • are we still getting married? I think i'm in school for the next 6 years so you might have to take care of me.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:21 PM  

  • Happy Birthday dude.

    I think a more appropriate title would be
    "You're 20 and look what you've done with your life! hahaha" , slightly updated.

    -Chanx

    BTW you missed:
    2005: Name scrolled across Fox News Ticker.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:36 PM  

  • Anonymous 1, shutup. Office Space is funny. You're not.

    Anonymous 2, yeah I'd marry you, if I were into that sort of thing and you were available.

    Anonymous Cousin, can I visit you in Vancouver on my way back from Korea? I'm thinking Road Trip.

    D-String and Simon, I like the idea of a quarter-life crisis. That suggests the crisis will someday be over.

    And ChanX, I'm glad you reminded me of my brief bit of Fox News Fame... I'm still only semi-admitting that that happened though.

    By Blogger Timothy Holden, at 7:49 AM  

  • AND STOP TRYING TO GUILT-TRIP ME ABOUT BEING MONEY-CONSCIOUS.

    None of my rich friends are guilt-tripping me.... only the poor ones ("Money isn't everything") and the rich ones who deny that they're rich ("Money isn't everything. I just have a lot of it.")

    And yeah I have rich friends... in the "Rabbit is Rich" sense of the word.

    By Blogger Timothy Holden, at 7:51 AM  

  • "Anonymous Cousin, can I visit you in Vancouver on my way back from Korea? I'm thinking Road Trip."

    YOU BETTER!

    By the way, didn't they spell your last name wrong on the Fox News thing?! I think that justifies your semi-admittance of the incidence. If it make syou feel any better I'm turning 26 soon which makes me in my LATE twenties! You are still in your early twenties so enjoy it! ;)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:01 AM  

  • No, they spelled and PRONOUNCED my name correctly on Fox. I was impressed with O'Reilly.

    And sorry for complaining about my age when I'm still younger than you...



    Tim

    By Blogger Timothy Holden, at 6:34 PM  

  • happy birthday. stop smearing my name on facebook.

    btw, you're amazing. 24 years young!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:02 AM  

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